Conan's rant
by TrunksIzayaBossKadoDRRRotaku
Summary: Parody of episode 620. What if...Conan is sensitive about his height? No one will tease him anymore...


**A/N:I got this idea from episode 620 of Detective Conan. This is what should have happened. **

"I'LL HELP YOU, MINERVA GLASS!" Conan shouted. Everyone else around him looked at him like he was out of his mind, including Ran, Kogoro, and Agasa.

Minerva looked up and saw Conan. She realized then, he _was _Holmes' apprentice. She understood what he was trying to tell her. _So, you'll protect me, then? _

"How can you help me when you're so small?" She taunted.

Conan gasped, taken aback for a second. Then vein marks popped out on his head. How dare she make fun of his height! It wasn't his fault he was short!

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SHORT LITTLE PIPSQUEAK WHO'S SO SMALL THAT HE CAN'T EVEN BE SEEN WITH A MAGNIFYING GLASS! DON'T CALL ME SMALL! I'LL RIP OFF YOUR FEET AND STICK THEM ON YOUR HEAD!" He shrieked at the top of his lungs...wait a second, he hadn't said that. _Then, who did? Why did they sound exactly like me? _

* * *

><p>On the other side of the court, a blond-haired boy was holding Conan's bowtie and smirked. "That was a great one, Al." He said, sighing in relief.<p>

"How'd you get ahold of his bowtie, brother?" Al asked, the giant suit of armor casting a questioning glance at him. The only answer he recieved was a huge smirk on his brother's face.

* * *

><p>Conan gulped upon seeing everyone's faces all glaring at him. "What? I didn't say anything at all!" He protested innocently. He was telling the truth, but no one believed him.<p>

"All right, bozu, let's take you out of here. Where are your parents?" A security guard asked, picking him up, despite the detective's protests.

Conan was about to use his tranquilizer. He reached out to find it, and then he realized something else:his bowtie was missing! _Where could it have gone? _He thought wildly. His first thought was that Ran had gotten it! If so, then his identity was exposed! _Yabe..._

* * *

><p>Ed watched the whole scene, all the while chuckling to himself. "It was so easy to get away with that. To think he wouldn't even notice the way I took it from him!"<p>

"It's a good thing you're so small, brother." Al teased.

"Don't say that, Al!" Ed ranted, smoke coming out of his ears.

At that moment, Conan tried to figure out another way to get back in the stadium, when he heard arguing voices. "Who could that be? Whoever they are, they're arguing in English." He said to himself.

He crept up quietly. He gasped at what he saw. Two people were arguing viciously. The other people around them were covering their ears. But one of them was a metal suit! The other was a blond-haired kid who only seemed to be a few years older than he was physically. What he noticed, however, was how the kid held a bowtie...a very _familiar _one at that. His eyes narrowed. _How am I going to get that back? _

A broad smirk made its way across his face. "_Hey, oniisan, can you help me with something_?" He asked in Japanese.

The two of them blinked in confusion at what he had just said. "What did you say?" The blond boy asked.

"_I said, can you help me with something? Do you speak Japanese_?" Conan repeated.

The blond shook his head. "I can't understand a word you're saying."

"_Then, how did you shout those words...in Japanese, Kaitou Kid_?" He said.

Ed flinched. "Speak English, kid." He said.

"All right. First, hand me my bowtie." Conan demanded.

"This thing? No way! I found it, I like it, and I'm keeping it!" Ed exclaimed.

Conan fumed. "It's your fault I got kicked out! If only you could keep your mouth shut about your stupid shortness! How old are you, anyway?"

"15." Ed said. "Why? How old are you? Seven?" Ed said.

"Actually, I'm seventeen." He said.

Ed grinned and started laughing out loud. "Finally, someone who's older than me, and shorter! This is classic!" He shouted, rolling around in laughter. He didn't even notice Conan adjusting his sneaker until he saw a soccer ball come flying right at his face.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?" Ed shrieked, rubbing his head. "I WAS TRYING TO HELP YOU OUT, DAMMIT?" Ed exclaimed.

Conan grinned and shook his head. "It was nice. But I have a criminal to catch." He said, turning away. "Oh, and I think I'll keep this. It looks good on me." Conan added, holding out Ed's silver watch.

"YOU LITTLE BRAT!" Ed shrieked.


End file.
